Credence
by Bailey Zayac
Summary: They had nothing in common. She was barely old enough for this love to be legal. But as soon as the potion touched her tongue, she had no choice but to tell him the truth. Oh god...the truth. SS/OC
1. Force My Secrets

~Credence~

Chapter 1 ~ Force My Secrets

The large group of students waiting in Umbridge's classroom gave off an air of complete and utter nervousness. She was questioning them, searching for answers to the inner workings of the student body. What went on, and who's been participating in banned or unlawful activities.

But what really got their hearts beating and made their palms sweat was that Professor Snape was in her office, as well, aiding in the interrogations. He was the intimidation factor, as if Umbridge wasn't frightening enough.

The door to the dreadful woman's office opened, and she stepped over the threshold, beaming down at the semi-huddled mass.

"Moira Atwater, would you come here, please?" The woman's voice was sickeningly sweet, and a sixteen-year-old girl with blue and brown speckled eyes broke away from her peers, and ascended the stone staircase to the dreaded office. She brushed past the pudgy woman, and entered the pastel-pink room.

One thing stood out in the girly space before her. A tall man, clad in black, standing as straight and as still as a statue. His almost shoulder length hair blended perfectly with his black robe, which matched his brooding eyes. Umbridge walked behind her pink desk and sat down in her pink chair. She cleared her throat, with that high pitched squeak she called a cough, and gestured to the white, wooden chair in front of her desk.

"Please, dear. Take a seat." She smiled.

Moira did as she was told, sitting in the chair, which was facing Professor Snape. Moira avoided looking at the man, but then turned and looked Dolores dead in the eyes.

"I haven't done anything." Moira said steadily. Dolores's smile grew wider.

"It's not that I don't believe you, dear." She paused, cocking her head to the side. "On second thought, that's exactly why I'm doing this. Teenagers spew lies every time they open their mouths. Unless, you give them something. A boost…a little…liquid encouragement to tell the truth?"

Severus's eyes squared and Moira gulped as he reached into the deep pocket of his dark robe, which at this moment seemed even darker. He pulled out a small glass vial, filled with a blackish-green liquid.

"This," he drawled, "is Veritaserum. One drop of this and you'll tell us anything we want to know. "He stalked over to her chair, putting one hand on one of the wooden arms, the other one flicked open the vial. Moira moved back in her seat, her breath quickening. "Tip back your head and open your mouth, Atwater." He said. She bit her lip, but slowly tipped her head back. Suddenly, he took his hand off of the arm of the chair, and pushed her mouth open by her jaw.

She screwed her eyes shut and Severus allowed one drop of the Veritaserum to touch her tongue. She straightened her neck, wincing at the bitterness. When she opened her eyes, Severus was back by the wall. Dolores cleared her throat again.

"Now, dear. Have you participated in any activity that goes against any of the rules set forth by me?"

Moira swallowed. "N-No." she ground out.

"Good. Have you participated in any activity that goes against any of the rules set forth by the Ministry?"

Suddenly, Moira's deepest secret was hovering in her head, threatening to slip past her lips. She was pleading with herself, inside her head, battling against the potion running through her veins. Her head nodded of its own accord. Dolores sat forward. She was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"What did you do, dear?" she said in a falsely soothing voice. Moira gripped the arms of her chair so tight, her knuckles turned white. She bit her lip, trying to keep her secret safe, but the Veritaserum was winning the war.

"I'm having feelings for…f-for someone." She said through clenched teeth. Dolores rubbed her hands together, practically giggling. "Who, my dear? Who are you having feelings for? Oh, this is great…first one of the day!"

Moira's arm extended, her pointer finger gesturing to the statue of a man standing against the wall. Severus took a step forward.

"What?" he hissed.


	2. You Can't Fight It

Chapter 2 ~ You Can't Fight It

Moira put her hand over her mouth, closing her eyes tightly. No one was supposed to know her secret. No one was ever supposed to know that she was in love with her 35-year-old professor!

Umbridge was frowning like a spoilt child who didn't get what she wanted for Christmas.

"I can't do anything. I can't even give you a detention!" She sighed miserably. "You're of the age of consent."

Snape was staring at Moira, his face blank of emotion, but behind his eyes, it looked like a battle was raging.

Umbridge stood.

"You may leave, now, Miss Atwater." She said haughtily. "The effects of the Veritaserum will wear off eventually. And, stay away from Professor Snape. I don't want you tempting him; he's one of my finest teachers."

Snape snorted. "No worries, Dolores. I would never be tempted to do anything by the likes of her." he drawled.

Moira gasped, just before her blue-and-brown speckled eyes filled with tears. As the salty droplets poured down her face, and with the harsh sound of her true loves harsh laughter ringing in her ears, she turned and ran. And she didn't stop running until she was safe and sound inside her dormitory. The safe feeling that she usually got when surrounded by the calming mixture of blue and gray was gone. She felt exposed, embarrassed...how could Severus have laughed at her like he did? How could he have said those horrible things to her?

She bit her lip as she realized that she had his class first thing the next morning. How was she going to face him? She couldn't help the way she felt. There was just something about him that drew her in, that kept her enticed. She could tell that he was broken, that deep beneath all of that anger and all of that ice, he was a lonely man with a broken heart. And, oh, she desperately wanted to be the girl to fix it.

She lay down on her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. She silently let the tears flow, and slowly, she fell asleep.

Severus sat in his chambers, in a black leather armchair. His head was resting in one of his hands. He was so lost in thought, his eyes were glazed over. What was that girl thinking? Having feelings for him? He normally would have brushed it off as a prank, had it not been for the Veritaserum. He didn't have time for this in his life. He'd found out, long ago, that he had no luck with love. No…no luck at all. Not to mention, the girl was 16…the legal age of consent, yes, but he was 35…more than twice her age!

Obviously, on the outside, he looked the type to not care if he broke someone's heart. And he wasn't…honestly…He wouldn't let this destroy his career…he would let this little girl ruin his plans…he would have to break her heart.

The hall to Professor Snape's dungeon classroom had never seemed so dark and foreboding. Moira wanted nothing more than to turn and run. But there was that tiny voice inside her head, whispering to her, saying, "You know you want to see him…you want him to see you, too…" and no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, the tiny voice always won. Because to see him was what her heart wanted.

The voice was with her until the second she opened the door to the classroom. The torch-lit room was empty, albeit a statue of a man sitting solemnly behind a neat and tidy mahogany desk. The man looked up, catching Moira in an emotionless stare. He turned back to his papers as he spoke.

"You're early, Miss Atwater."

Moira but her lip, quietly taking her usual seat, in the front, left-hand row.

"I'm always early, Professor. I like to be ready and organized before we start class…I struggle in this subject."

Snape snorted.

"You need to be fifteen minutes early? I doubt it, Miss Atwater. Maybe if you paid less attention to me, and more to my subject, you wouldn't be struggling." He drawled, his voice laced with rudeness.

Moira gasped, but stared at him none-the-less.

"Now that you know, it's no use in keeping it a secret." She said steadily. She had cried herself to sleep last night, so she couldn't see herself doing that anymore. She had no tears left, at this point in time at least. She wasn't going to get angry with him, for the simple fact that she just couldn't. So, there was nothing else to do in her opinion, but to be completely honest. "There's nothing anyone can do to me. There are no repercussions. You can deny my feelings all you want…they'll still be there. They're not just going to disappear!"

Snape snorted once again, this time crossing his arms over his chest.

"Stop trying to act like an adult, Atwater. You've got a lot of growing up to do…trust me! Now, get out of here, and don't come in until the bell sounds." He turned away and went back to his desk. His back was too her as she stood up, but she didn't grab her stuff, and she didn't head for the door. Instead, she walked up to him and turned him around by his shoulder.

"Atwater-" he began, but before he could finish his sentence, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, embracing him in a hug. He was at lease a foot taller than her, so she was poised on her tiptoes, leaning against him.

For Severus, time stood still. He felt something stir within his chest that seemed to originate in hers. He felt her heart beating, a gentle thumping that his heart attempted to match, causing his thoughts themselves to slow down. Her head was lying against him, and he could tell how relaxed she was. Never had anyone been so calm in his presence. Never had he felt love of one person flow into him, not since…not since Lily…and she had never been his. But he could feel that this girl pressed against him wanted nothing more than to be loved by him. Severus wrapped his arms around her slowly, reluctant to move, because he felt that if he did, this sweet illusion might disappear.

For Moira, it was a sigh of relief. It was a breath of fresh air, to be so close to the man she loved so deeply. Her ear was next to his heart, and as she heard the soft rhythm, she felt herself relax and become so calm, her breath deepened. She had been yearning for this feeling for so long…Moira looked up at him.

There was a moment of silence. There was a quiet question that both shared, both were asking themselves a trivia that might change their destinies forever.

_Do I dare kiss him?_

_Do I dare kiss her?_


	3. Forgiven

Chapter 3 ~ Forgiven

Their eyes were locked for such a long time, and Severus noticed how amidst the dark blue hue of her eyes, there were brown dots, thousands of them. His hand reached up of its own accord, and his thumb stroked her cheek. He had never seen eyes like that before. Not only were they windows to her soul, they were like a painting…a painting of leaves in a pond…

Moira was almost disillusioned. She had never imagined, even in her dizziest daydreams, that she'd be wrapped in such an intimate embrace by Severus Snape. She was lost in his hematite eyes, they eyes of someone who has seen heartbreak…felt it, embodied it…she was so lost in them that she almost didn't notice him drawing her closer. She did notice however…lips touching lips.

Her eyes slid close as Severus pressed a kiss against her mouth. The rational side of his brain told him to stop…that he was supposed to be breaking her heart, not giving in to his…and unfortunately, that side was successful. He pushed her away roughly. So roughly, in fact, that she fell to the ground. A surprised gasp passed her lips as she looked up at him.

He glared down at her. He had to break her heart…he had to _break her heart!_

"You disgusting _whore!_ You made me do that!" he hissed. Her eyes connected with his. A ripple started in the pond, the leaves rocked with the waves, the dam had been opened , and the water began to flow…she was sobbing. Her whole body was shaking, and she wasn't bothering to cover it up. She wasn't hiding her face…she was just sitting there, pathetic, broken…but her eyes never closed. She was staring at him. Her pain was flowing into him, and he found himself drowning in the pond. He fell to his knees in front of her.

"I'm so sorry…I…" he stood up quickly, going into his desk for a handkerchief. He had to wipe away her tears…he had to take back what he'd said. He retrieved the kerchief, and turned back to her…just in time to see the door slowly shut. She was gone. She'd run away, leaving nothing but a few tears, three small puddles upon the floor. He dropped the kerchief.

Again, Moira found herself soaking her pillow with tears. Except this time…this time she felt as though the world had crashed down on her. She knew not what to do. She knew nothing would ever cure this pain she was feeling. Not now…not after what he'd said. A whore…

'_You filthy whore…'_

'_Whore!'_

She covered her ears with her hands and curled into a ball. She'd never get that image out of her head…that look in his eye. That look of complete and utter disgust…

'_No…no…no…no..' _she drifted into a haunted sleep.

Three hours later, she awoke to someone stroking her hair. She noticed that her pillow felt more like leather than cotton. She sat up, blinking away sleep, only to come face to face with the man who'd killed her spirit.

"Moira…" it was only a whisper. A soft pressure on her name, a slow hand on her hair. And yet, she was still frightened. She stood up, backing away from Severus. She kept walking backwards until her back connected with a wall opposite the leather couch. Severus stood, but did not approach her.

"Moira…" that whisper again "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said."

Moira shook her head. Said nothing, only shook her head. Severus took two steps towards her.

"Please, Moira…" he was desperate. He couldn't believe he was begging a 16-year-old girl to come into his arms, to kiss him…but by now, he'd stopped trying to make sense of this. He only knew he wanted to feel her love again. Right now, hell could open up and swallow him, if he could only feel that love again before being engulfed in the flames.

But he had hurt her. Her lovely eyes looked dead. He had to give them life. He had to. He walked up to her, wrapping her up in his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry…" he moved his lips to her ear. "So sorry…"

They stayed like that for a long time. The grandfather clock that stood a few feet from them was ticking of f the seconds. _1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8_… To him it seemed like an eternity. He'd almost given up, almost let her go and bit his lip, walking away from the girl with kaleidoscope eyes…when he felt that connection again. He felt her love flowing into him. She sniffled.

"I forgive you…Severus." She whispered, before leaning up and kissing him softly, her eyes locked with his the entire time. He felt like he was drowning…he let the waves take him down.


	4. Family Dynamics

Chapter 4 ~ Family Dynamics

Severus was the one who broke the kiss. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back softly.

"Moira…what is this? What are we going to do about this?" he said, suddenly very serious. He was scaring himself, to be honest. Ever since Lily…he'd been in total control of himself. He'd been so cold…so calculating, always _in control_. And now he had this little girl, who was practically still wet behind the ears, making him soft. How could he continue his day-to-day with a soft heart? What if…what if his Lord…took her away? Kept her as collateral? Could he do that to her? He noticed her staring at him.

"I don't know what we're going to do. And I know…I know you're afraid of Voldemort. I understand what I'm getting in to."

"How do you now I'm…I'm affiliated with him?" Severus grabbed her shoulders. She looked away.

"It's all over the school. But I went to the Headmaster. I wanted to know the truth. And he…he set me straight, but only because I know Sirius's daughter. I'm spending the summer with her this year. At…at the Headquarters. I used that as leverage. I'm a very good…negotiator." She took a step closer to him, and she reached up, fixing the lapels on his robe.

Severus put his hands over hers, covering them completely due to the size difference. "The Dark Lord will find out about this…he'll try to hurt you." He said gravely. "I don't you to be subject to that."

She kept her hands underneath his, smiling sincerely. "The way things are going, we'll all be subject to it in the near future. I'd rather get tortured for you then tortured for being a Mudblood."

Severus had no reply. She was right about everyone eventually being subject to the Dark Lord's wrath. But to be honest, she was baffling him. He had silently taken back what he'd said earlier that day, about her having a lot of growing up to do. It was almost scary…how adult she acted. He stared deep in her eyes.

"Moira…what makes you so mature? You're like a woman trapped in a young girl's body. Some of my colleagues don't speak as established as you do. There must be a reason?" he asked seriously.

Her eyes glazed over suddenly, her gaze fixed at some point on the wall behind Severus. She pulled away, and walked over to the couch. She didn't sit, but stood, almost looking defeated.

"I was forced to grow up quickly. Family dynamics, you could say. Since we're baring all, I'll tell you the story, but you might look at me a bit differently. See me in a new light, a dimmer light." She turned to face him, her hands clasped in front on her. "Have you noticed that I never go home over holidays? I stay here, for Christmas, Easter, and any other breaks we have. During the summer, I stay in Little Whinging with Matilda Black. I haven't been home since before my First Year. I had what you would call a broken home. My father left when I was four, but not before he locked me in our linen closet and beat my mother black and blue. She changed after that. She started bringing men home. That's when the…abuse started. Around my ninth birthday, they didn't seem to be satisfied enough with my mother. So, they'd wait until she fell asleep, and sneak into my room. I still remember the first time. His name was Andrew. He covered my mouth with his hand, so I wouldn't scream and wake my mother. He had hazel eyes. Ugly, horrible hazel eyes. There were twelve more men after that. Twelve more until the First of September, two days after my eleventh birthday."

Severus was rooted to the floor. His mind was blank. All he could manage was. "Why didn't you tell her? Why didn't you tell your mother?"

She smiled cheerlessly. "I did. She never believed me. To this day, she doesn't believe me. I had to run away on the First of September that year. I packed my bags and I ran. I found my way to the station, and on that first train ride, I felt the weight of the world disappear from my shoulders. That was the year I met you. The first man I'd ever seen with hematite eyes. Eyes as black as midnight upon the water."

She walked over to him, laying her head on his chest. He thoughtlessly wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him.

"You were broken, like me." She continued. "I could tell. I have a way of understanding people. I read in a book once that people who've known the weight of the world can feel things other can't. It's true. I can read people. Not their thoughts, but their feelings. I'm hyper sensitively empathetic. And you where broken, you were dark; you had walls around you to keep you safe, just like me. From then until now, our walls have become one. We could block out the rest of the world, or we could let them in, now, because we've found each other."

All that could've been said was spoken. Severus did nothing but hold her. He did nothing but let himself fall. Let himself be weak in front of this girl…no…this young woman. He couldn't decipher these feelings that were coursing through him All he could do was look down at her and say,

"I'll never hurt you like they did."


	5. Purity

Chapter 5 ~ Purity

She looked up at him when he said that. He had such a genuine look of sympathy in his eyes, and she melted against him. She wasn't afraid of him. He only looked intimidating. It was an air, a cover up, to keep people away; at a safe distance. But Moira had seen past it, and she wasn't afraid.

And as for Lord Voldemort…sure, she was nervous. But she knew that if the worst was to come, she'd go into hiding, and wait for the storm to pass. It was something she was willing to do for love. It was something that she was willing to do for the man standing in front of her. She reached down and took his hand in hers.

The skin was aged, experienced. The digits were nimble, laced with talent and passion. Her hand fit so perfect against it, like they were meant to intertwine. Severus folded her hand over his, bringing the back of it to his lips. He caught her eyes in a stare, and her mouth twitched, forming a small smile.

"The great Severus Snape is a charmer, I see? A real…_romantic_?"

The voice was neither of theirs. It was foreign, to Moira at least. A deep male voice, harsh from what seemed like years of use. She turned to face the man who owned the voice, and was met with a familiar sight. The man looked like Matilda's cousin, Draco Malfoy. Only older, with longer hair and harder eyes. High cheekbones matched with an angular chin and elegant eyebrows. Even though he was a handsome man, she was frightened. She pulled her hand away, and clung to Severus.

"Lucius. Since when do you barge into my chambers unannounced?" Severus said, a threatening tone coating his words. Lucius grinned.

"Since when do you romance your students, Severus?" he retorted.

Severus averted his gaze. He had no answer. Moira looked up at her love, searching his hematite gems for stability. When she found none, she decided to supply him with some. She stepped in front of Severus, confronting Lucius head on.

"I really don't see how this is any of your business. You came in when we were in the middle of a discussion. It would be ideal if you left. I doubt I need to show you to the door." She spoke disdainfully, holding her head up to feign confidence. Lucius did nothing but grin. His eyes were anything but playful, though. They looked sinister…blue orbs of hostility. Even after everything that had happened to her, Moira had never seen such evil eyes. Most of the men who had abused her were in a drunken haze. But the man in front of her was soberly sinful. She was shaking, and all from a stare.

Severus put a hand on her stomach, stepping in front of her.

"Lucius…leave her alone. Just leave, she's…she's only a shag. I have to get my frustrations out somehow." He lied. Moira understood what he was doing. She didn't object. In fact, she played along.

"That's what I meant by…discussion." She added. Lucius approached her. The sin in his eyes was painted over with hunger, and he grabbed her by the shoulders, yanking her forward.

"Let's share her then. Cissy's been sick lately…and I, too, have frustrations." He pulled her against him.

Those thirteen horrible nights overrode Moira's logical thinking. Andrew…David…Ben…Johnathen…Anthony…Jem…Don…Christopher…Michael…Mitch…Carson…Jim...Will… Everything they did to her came flooding back, and she shut down. She reverted to her survival tactics. She detached herself from reality. She became a ragdoll in Lucius' hand. His breath assaulted her senses, it smelled of cigarette smoke. She fully left her body then.

Severus knew that this was the only way to shut Lucius up. It was this, or risking the Dark Lord discovering Moira. He only prayed. He watched the events unfold in front of him. He didn't want to watch, but he wasn't about to leave Moira alone with this crazed animal. He felt like clawing his own eyes out, he felt like running away with her. Felt like killing Lucius. He only prayed this didn't break his beautiful painting of leaves upon the water.

Moira was floating over her own body. She'd learn to do this long ago, around her tenth birthday. She'd realized that her mind and body were two different things, and each could be independently controlled.

She didn't hate Severus for this. She could tell he was powerless against Lucius. He had some kind of authority. It most likely had something to do with Voldemort. Sure, she had thought that this abuse was over, that she'd escaped it. But she wasn't mad with Severus. Lucius on the other hand…she would never be able to look at Draco Malfoy ever again, that was certain. They had the same eyes, and once she'd seen them, they were implanted in her mind.

Before she knew it…it was over. As she came back to herself, she was in Severus' arms. Lucius was gone, and Severus was weeping. They were a crumpled heap on the floor, and Severus was visibly shaking. Moira put a hand on the side of his face.

"Don't cry, Love." She said sweetly. For some reason, he only cried harder. His eyes were screwed shut, and he squeezed her so tightly it almost hurt. Almost. They stayed like that for a long time. Severus' weeping didn't cease, and Moira was consoling him. It was a bit like role reversal, but Moira didn't mind. After a few minutes, Moira spoke.

"Severus. Please, stop crying. Your tears are killing me. It's over. We're safe." She said softly.

"_I…I let him rape you._" He whispered. He looked close to suicide. She leaned up, and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

"_Then fix it. Make up to me. Make love to me. Erase his touch. Make me yours again."_ She mumbled against his lips.

He scooped her up in his arms, carrying her like his bride to his bedroom. He lay her down gently on the black Egyptian cotton. He shed his long black cloak, wearing only his slacks and undershirt. He lay down next to her, touching her bare stomach softly.

"I'm sorry our first time is so sudden…under such atrocious circumstances." He muttered. He looked deep into his favorite painting, and noticed that the water of his pond was darker than ever before.

"I'm…I'm so sorrythat I'm not pure for you." She whimpered.

Only then, did she start to cry.


End file.
